Getting over someone you loved is one of life’s most challenging experiences. A fitting analogy for it would be finding yourself in a storm, with emotions swirling around you, leaving you feeling lost and hurt. If you’re here, you’re probably searching for a way to heal and regain control of your life after a painful heartbreak.
Don’t worry; there’s hope for everyone, even when it seems like you’ll never get over it. However, getting over someone you loved is a process that requires quite some time, patience, and self-compassion. If you’re generous with these three things, nothing is stopping you from moving on to a better, brighter tomorrow.
But before you get to that, there’s a long journey filled with self-improvement and reflection. In some places, you’ll need to face things you’ve been avoiding, whereas other times, you only need some distraction and ice cream.
It might seem daunting, but we’re here to ensure you get through it. In today’s blog, we’ll discuss the top ten ways of getting over someone you really love. You only need to select the one that works for you and follow it religiously.
8 Ways of Getting Over Someone You Loved
All of us want some sure-fire solutions to heartbreaks, isn’t it? All we want to hear is, “Just say this thing, go to this place, hear them say this, and you’ll be over it in no time!”
However, in real life, heartbreaks are messy. They’re confusing, disappointing, and crushing. There’s no book called Here’s How to Get Over Someone You Loved in 5 Minutes. The more you loved this person, the more you’d want to fix all this instead of moving on to better things.
Let’s talk breakups. There are breakups where a couple agrees that due to some non-negotiable issues, they aren’t compatible anymore. But usually, breakups happen because one of the partners breaks the other one’s heart.
But that’s not all. We cannot forget the heartbreaks that aren’t necessary due to breakups. There’s getting over someone you loved but could never date due to some circumstances. Or, maybe you’re wondering how to get over someone you loved but is toxic.
The newest trend in the dating world is situationships, where the couple indulges in intimacy without labeling what they have as a relationship. Essentially, it’s the Gen Z equivalent of Friends with Benefits.
This is probably the most confusing and hurtful relationship because how do you even explain how you feel? Do you just go to your best friend’s place and ask her, “How to get over someone I loved but never actually dated”? Especially when all you want to do is make things return to how they were?
But that’s where you have you exercise self-control. This isn’t the easiest thing to do, so instead of trying to stop yourself by doing nothing, invest yourself into moving on. There are many ways of moving on, and the process looks different for everyone.
That being said, everyone should follow a few fundamental steps because we can all benefit from those. Today, those are the steps we’re going to be focusing on.
Acknowledging and accepting your emotions
Validating your emotions is a basic yet important step in getting over someone you love. In this context, it means allowing yourself to fully experience and understand the emotions accompanying a heartbreak/breakup.
You might feel a deep sense of loss and sadness, like a heavy rain that washes over you. It’s important to understand that sadness is a natural response to the end of a meaningful relationship.
Anger can stem from hurt, betrayal, or frustration. It’s okay to be angry, but you also must find healthy outlets for this emotion, like talking to a trusted friend or engaging in physical activity.
Confusion is common after a breakup or heartbreak because you’re navigating unfamiliar territory. You might question why the relationship ended or what you could have done differently. Accept that it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately.
Nostalgia can be both comforting and painful. It’s like a gentle rain of memories, reminding you of the good times. It’s okay to treasure those memories while understanding that the past is in the past. Remember, you can miss the memories without missing the person in those memories.
When you accept your emotions, you’re not judging or suppressing them; you’re allowing yourself to feel, process, and eventually move beyond them. The key is to be patient with yourself and seek support when needed.
Open yourself up to your friends and family
Leaning on friends and family during the challenging process of getting over someone you love is extremely important. These people have known you for a long time, who care about your well-being, and who can provide invaluable emotional support during this difficult time.
Family and friends lend a listening ear without judgment, allowing you to vent, cry, or express what’s on your mind. Their empathy and openness will provide a safe space to share your thoughts, which can be immensely therapeutic.
Distractions and outings:
Imagine friends planning outings or fun activities to distract you from the pain of the breakup. Whether it’s a weekend getaway, a movie night, or a lazy hangout, these moments of distraction can provide much-needed relief.
Validation and encouragement:
Their words can boost your self-esteem and motivate you to keep moving forward. Even when you know all the facts as they are, it’s never a waste to be validated by a loved one.
While leaning on friends and family is essential, remember they may not have all the answers or be available 24/7. They, too, have their own lives and responsibilities.
Rediscover your Passion
Rediscovering your passions is like uncovering hidden treasures within yourself. You can reconnect with the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, providing purpose and self-discovery during a challenging time.
Rekindle an old flame:
Dust off that guitar that had been tucked away in the corner of your room. As you strum the strings, it feels like rekindling an old flame. Engaging in activities you once loved can evoke nostalgia, reminding you of the parts of yourself that may have been temporarily overshadowed by the relationship/infatuation.
Nurture personal growth:
A sense of accomplishment accompanies setting and achieving goals related to your passions. Whether it’s completing a challenging hike or finishing a writing project, nurturing your passions fosters growth and self-esteem.
Build a supportive community:
Join clubs, groups, or communities that share your interests. Engaging with like-minded individuals can help forge new connections and build a supportive network.
Moreover, focusing on your passions can be a powerful distraction from the pain of the breakup. It occupies your mind with positive, constructive activities and helps shift your focus away from the past and toward the future.
Explore new interests
Exploring new interests is a powerful way to regain your sense of self, embrace personal growth, and navigate the healing process after a breakup.
Curiosity and discovery:
Develop a newfound sense of curiosity, an eagerness to explore new activities, hobbies, or experiences. This is the spark that ignites your journey of self-discovery.
Venture beyond your comfort zone:
Embrace the excitement and a touch of nervousness that comes from venturing beyond your comfort zone. Trying something entirely new or different can be both exhilarating and empowering.
Meet new people:
Exploring new interests can lead to meeting new people who share your passion. Engaging in group activities or joining clubs related to your chosen interest can help you expand your social circle and build connections.
Build a new identity:
Your new interests can contribute to building a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. They become a part of your identity, helping you define yourself beyond your past mistakes.
Stay open to change:
You must cultivate a willingness to stay open to change and evolution. As you explore new interests, you may find that your passions and preferences evolve, which is a natural part of personal growth.
New interests breathe fresh air into your life, offering a sense of purpose and excitement that can be helpful in the healing process. They help us move beyond the past and embrace a future filled with possibilities, growth, and happiness.
Create a self-care routine
Creating a self-care routine after a heartbreak helps find solace and healing. This routine is a set of intentional, nurturing activities that prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being during a challenging time.
A gentle morning ritual:
Start waking up to a gentle morning ritual. Perhaps you start your day with a warm cup of tea, a few moments of meditation, or a relaxing stretch. This calming start sets a positive tone for the day ahead.
Nourish your body:
Try to make nourishing food choices that provide your body with the energy it needs. Preparing and enjoying nutritious gmeals is a form of self-care, as it promotes physical health and can boost your mood.
Movement and exercise:
Engage in physical activities that you enjoy, whether it’s a morning jog, a yoga session, or dancing in your living room. Exercise improves your physical well-being and releases endorphins that enhance your mood and reduce stress.
Pampering and relaxation:
Plan serene evenings where you indulge in pampering activities. This could involve a long bath with soothing essential oils, reading a book, or practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
Disconnect from screens:
Giving yourself breaks from screens can reduce the constant reminders of your past relationship and create space for introspection. It’s also a great step towards healthier relationships with technology and promoting mindfulness.
Picture yourself slipping into a cozy bed, ready for restful sleep. Prioritizing quality sleep is essential for emotional well-being and overall health. Establishing a bedtime routine can improve your sleep patterns.
Consider how you set boundaries to protect your emotional space. This might involve limiting contact with your ex-partner or establishing boundaries with friends and family regarding discussions of your breakup.
Mindfulness and meditation:
Mindfulness and meditation help you focus on the present moment and let go of worries about the past or future. These practices can promote inner peace and reduce anxiety.
Creating a self-care routine is not just about going through the motions; it’s about consciously nurturing your well-being. It’s a way of telling yourself that you deserve love, care, and attention, even without a romantic interest/relationship.
Set realistic goals
Setting realistic goals as part of your healing journey is like charting a course for your personal growth and well-being. It’s a way to regain control and move forward with purpose and determination.
Clarity and direction:
Take a moment to reflect on what you want to achieve in the coming weeks or months. Setting goals provides clarity and direction when you might feel adrift.
Begin by setting small, achievable goals. These could be daily or weekly tasks that are manageable and not overwhelming. For instance, you can set a goal to take a short walk daily or spend 15 minutes journaling.
Your goals should be designed to gradually challenge and push you beyond your comfort zone. As you achieve smaller goals, you gain confidence and motivation to tackle bigger ones.
Consistency is extremely important in goal-setting. Establishing a routine and sticking to it helps create a sense of stability and accomplishment. It’s particularly crucial during times of emotional turmoil.
Life is unpredictable, and sometimes circumstances change. Being adaptable and open to adjusting your goals when necessary ensures you don’t become discouraged by setbacks.
Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they seem. Acknowledging your achievements, even if they are incremental, reinforces a sense of accomplishment and boosts self-esteem.
Try setting both short-term and long-term goals. Short-term goals provide immediate motivation and direction, while long-term goals help you envision the future you want to create for yourself.
As you see yourself progressing and taking steps toward a brighter future, you regain control and agency over your life.
Setting realistic goals post-breakup is not about setting yourself up for immediate success but committing to personal growth and healing. It’s about recognizing that, despite the pain of the breakup, you have the strength and resilience to create a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Limiting contact with your ex-partner is critical in healing and moving on after a breakup. This action is akin to creating a healthy boundary, safeguarding your emotional well-being, and allowing the necessary space for personal growth and self-discovery.
Reduce digital interaction:
Consciously reduce your digital interaction with your ex-partner. This includes unfollowing or muting them on social media to minimize exposure to their updates that might trigger painful memories or emotions.
Refrain from texts and calls:
Refrain from reaching out through texts or calls unless necessary, like coordinating logistics related to shared responsibilities or possessions. This prevents unnecessary emotional turmoil and allows you to focus on healing.
Setting communication boundaries:
Establish clear communication boundaries. You may decide that any communication will be limited to email or a specific messaging app to maintain a sense of formality and emotional distance.
Avoiding in-person meetings:
Avoid in-person meetings unless it’s essential, such as for legal or practical matters. Reducing face-to-face encounters helps prevent emotional setbacks and allows you to create emotional space.
There is the temptation to break the no-contact rule, especially during moments of loneliness or nostalgia. Mentally prepare yourself for these moments, reminding yourself of your reasons for limiting contact and the importance of your healing journey.
Recognize emotional triggers:
Consider the emotional triggers that may arise from interactions with your ex-partner. Limiting contact creates a protective shield around your heart, reducing exposure to these triggers and allowing your emotions to heal.
In essence, limiting contact with your ex-partner is a self-preserving measure that allows you to create emotional space and regain your sense of self. It shows that your emotional well-being is a priority, and you are taking steps to safeguard it during a challenging time.
Seek professional help
Seeking professional help is an important and often transformative step in healing and getting over someone you really love. It’s like having a compass and a guide on your journey towards emotional well-being and personal growth.
Validation and understanding:
Seeking professional help provides a safe and empathetic space where your feelings and experiences are validated and understood. This validation alone can be incredibly therapeutic.
A trained professional can offer valuable perspective. They can help you understand the dynamics of your past relationship, providing insights into what worked and what didn’t. This understanding can be essential for personal growth and future relationship success.
A professional can equip you with practical tools to manage difficult emotions, deal with grief, and navigate these unfamiliar waters. These strategies empower you to regain control of your emotional well-being.
Unpack complex emotions:
Consider the complexity of emotions arising after a breakup. It’s like sorting through a tangled web of feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. A professional can help you untangle this web, allowing you to process and make sense of your emotions.
Identify unhealthy patterns:
A therapist can assist you in identifying any unhealthy patterns/behaviors that may have contributed to the breakup. Recognizing these patterns is important for personal growth and establishing healthier future relationships.
Consider the objectivity a therapist or counselor brings to your situation. They can provide an impartial perspective, helping you see your circumstances more clearly and make decisions in your best interest.
The guidance you receive from a professional is tailored to your specific needs and circumstances. They can create a personalized treatment plan that addresses your unique challenges and goals.
How to NOT Get Over Someone You Loved?
By now, you know exactly what can help you get over someone. But, sometimes, despite all precautions, we often repeat our patterns, which is completely understandable. It’s a vulnerable time, and it’s nothing to feel ashamed about.
However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work to prevent that from happening. The first and most important step to not repeating mistakes is formally acknowledging our patterns. Understanding and analyzing your behavior can go a long way in helping you recognize and overcome the old urges.
So, here’s what NOT to do when you’re on your healing journey. It’s possible that you’ve done these things again or might even do it again. The key is recognizing it and trying to do better only for yourself.
Isolating yourself won’t help
Isolating yourself entirely from friends and family can intensify your pain. While solitude can benefit self-reflection, complete isolation is not a healthy choice.
Being with yourself essentially refers to being mindful. Paying attention and understanding your feelings, urges, wants, needs, and patterns is how you be with yourself and get to know yourself better.
This could include self-care, physical activity, picking up an old hobby, or trying a new one. Even journaling and going on a short walk can help you practice mindfulness.
Isolating yourself may look like not hanging out with your friends, family, and professional acquaintances. Refusing to leave the house and declining invitations to places where you can experience basic human interaction are also indicators of isolation.
Do not stalk your ex online
Avoiding the urge to stalk your ex-partner on social media is important to move on after a breakup. While it’s tempting to keep tabs on them, this behavior can negatively affect your emotional well-being.
Social media displays a curated version of people’s lives, showcasing the highs and hiding the lows. This can lead to idealizing your ex’s life and dwelling on the notion that they’re happier without you, which isn’t necessarily true.
It can also become an obsession, leading to compulsive behavior. This obsession can consume your thoughts and prevent you from moving forward.
Rushing into a new relationship is a recipe for disaster
While seeking companionship is natural, using a new relationship as a quick fix can lead to more emotional turmoil down the road. Rebound relationships will probably unintentionally recreate the same issues or patterns that led to your previous breakup. This repetition can create more frustration and confusion.
Jumping into a new relationship too soon often also means carrying unresolved emotional baggage from the previous one. This can impact your ability to fully invest in and appreciate your new partner.
Last but not least, entering a relationship when you’re not emotionally ready can mean using your new partner as a placeholder to fill the void left by your ex. This is unfair to both you and your new partner.
Self-destructive behavior is self-explanatory
Engaging in destructive behaviors to cope with the pain of a breakup is counterproductive and can have serious consequences for your physical and mental health. They often provide temporary relief or distraction but increase the emotional turmoil in the long run.
Unhealthy indulgences like excessive drinking, substance abuse, or reckless actions can offer a temporary escape from emotional pain. However, it is short-lived and can lead to a cycle of dependency.
These behaviors also tend to escalate emotional distress rather than alleviate it. They result in feelings of guilt, shame, and regret, compounding the emotional burden.
Not to mention, substance abuse and reckless behavior pose significant health risks. They can lead to addiction, physical harm, accidents, and long-term health issues.
So, instead of promoting personal growth and healing, this will keep you stuck in a cycle of pain, making it difficult to move forward.
Suppressing your emotions is holding you back
Suppressing your emotions, especially after a breakup, can harm your emotional well-being. While it may seem like a way to maintain composure or avoid confronting painful feelings, it can lead to negative consequences.
When you suppress your emotions, it’s like bottling them up inside. Over time, these bottled-up emotions can build pressure, leading to emotional outbursts or breakdowns when you least expect it.
Suppression also creates inner turmoil, resulting in increased stress and anxiety. The ongoing effort to conceal your feelings can be mentally exhausting. This exhaustion can manifest in symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances. Long-term stress can also weaken the immune system.
Moreover, it becomes challenging to make clear and rational decisions when you suppress your emotions. Unresolved feelings may cloud your judgment. Needless to say, you will be inadvertently extending the grieving process.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How to get over rejection from someone you love?
Getting over rejection from someone you love is a difficult process. You need to go through the steps to undo all the damage that’s been done. Allow yourself to feel the pain, acknowledge your emotions, and reach out to friends and family. These are the basic measures to start your recovery.
Next, you must create emotional distance if possible, prioritize self-care, engage in distracting activities, and always consider professional help if needed. Remember that healing takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this challenging ordeal.
However, the main thing to remember is that there’s no answer to “How do I get over someone quickly?” You’ll need to go through all the steps one way or the other to get over someone. The quicker you accept this, the faster you’ll be over it.
How to get over someone lying to you?
Getting over someone who has lied to you can be emotionally challenging, but it’s essential for your peace of mind.
Acknowledge and accept your feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. Find the truth through open communication, if possible, and consider setting boundaries to avoid deception.
Reflect on the reasons behind the lies, understanding that people lie for many reasons, and it often has nothing to do with you. Prioritize self-care, and don’t hesitate to lean on a trusted friend, family member, or therapist for support.
It’s Difficult but Necessary to Move On
Despite knowing and analyzing everything that’s happened, it can still sometimes feel like this was all just one big, horrible mistake. You might want things to return to how they were when you were blissfully ignorant or satisfied.
However, with great hardships come great growth and resilience. This might not be where you envisioned yourself, but it’s definitely where you want to be. Expanding your horizons is always a good thing, especially when it’s accompanied by a side of good riddance.
Regardless of whatever the future may hold, moving on will ensure that you’re confident enough to face it and come out stronger on the other side. So, what are you waiting for? Embark on your healing journey today, and let us know about any experiences or suggestions in the comments below!